by Anne Kruse
The little boy sat on the edge of the road playing with loose cobblestones, wobbling them back and forth, while his mother looked on indulgently. Having nothing better to do, a carabiniere who was watching from across the road puffed himself up, adjusted his uniform, crossed the road and stood over the boy who looked up to smile at him. But there was no smile from the carabiniere. He put on his most belligerent face, shook his fist, and shouted in Italian – a torrent of long words, very long words and short staccato words building to an extravagant crescendo before he turned and walked away.
‘What did he say?’ the mother asked the boy.
‘Oh, he just said to put the cobblestones back.’
This was one of my earliest memories of my life in Italy without Italian. I, the mother, had found the carabiniere’s Mussolini style uniform and his display of authority unnerving and my dismay at not understanding the actual words meant that I had listened too hard or perhaps did not really listen at all.
It had been the same the day before in the church. A stern priest had hurried down the aisle shaking his finger, whispering intensely in Italian.
‘He was telling me to be quiet in the church,’ the boy told her.
Both the carabiniere and the priest had given admirable performances and the little boy had intuitively realised that understanding the actual meaning of all the words was unnecessary when you were obviously getting into trouble. Whereas, while I understood the obvious reprimands (and there were many), I was not immersed in the moment, I was trying to ‘translate’.
‘Basta!’ the boy said dismissively to the Italian waiter who was sprinkling parmesan on his pasta while I was still struggling with the intricacies of an Italian menu.
But gradually some words came – not sentences, only words. Verbs were something that other people worried about. I eventually found the courage to say sono. ‘Sono stanco,’ I said to the shop assistant as I collapsed in a chair. ‘Stanca, signora’ he said, pleasantly but firmly.
‘Disperata’ I was told by a kind and amused woman who took me to a toilet after I had jigged up and down saying ‘desperato,’ but evidently I had given a satisfactory performance. There were memorable moments when emotion took over and some kind of pigeon Italian, combined with joy, fear or anger and the appropriate animation led to a successful result.
It was nearly 40 degrees in Piazza Santa Croce where we had bought tickets to watch a medieval football match. I stood in the heat with the boy on my hip, all the seats were taken including the ones I had booked. I was ignored. No one would move as I shook my tickets at them. Then something happened and the Gods of Italian maccheronica came down.
‘Io!’ ‘I shouted with appropriate gestures. Io! Una Mamma! Molto hot! Caldo! Una mamma with bambino!’ My performance as a distressed Mamma was accepted and people smiled as they made room for us.
I did resort to carrying a very small dictionary with me – just in case I needed a word – only nouns at first although I gradually added adjectives and the odd adverb. ‘Male!’ I said to this same little boy when he had knocked over some pots of geraniums. La padrona di casa was shocked ‘No Signora! No! Non male!’
I learnt from her reaction that male was a very serious word meaning evil, and no child could be guilty of that. ‘Cattivo’ she said, giving him a cuddle and ruffling his hair. I acquired those words along with vivaccio, another affectionate way of explaining any possible naughtiness.
Then there was his older brother who had a mop of blond curls. People approached me in the street exclaiming that he was un Angelo. He was old enough to respond to this attention by looking at his feet, while for me it was the beginnings of an understanding about the way art and life were so connected in Italy. The more paintings I saw in Florence the more I understood this. Faces in the paintings were recognizable in the faces in the street. The average passer-by in Florence did not have blonde curls but angels certainly did. These images were part of the collective consciousness. In his frescoes in the Medici chapel, Benozzo Gozzoli’s young Florentines, boys and girls, wear golden curls like angels. They were beautiful and wonderful but so were the large terracotta pots of lemon trees in the Palace Garden, the red tiled roofs of Florence, the church bells, the displays in the shop windows of lollies, gold jewellery, fine paperwork and tablecloths, the butcher on his pedestal in the market, and the austere grandeur of the Duomo where the two-year-old in his pusher would go into a peaceful trance as he stared up at Brunelleschi’s dome.
We were extremely fortunate, at first living in a cheap hotel around the corner from the Duomo where writers and academics rented a room by the month or year and prostitutes lived on the top floor. Or so I was told. I only ever heard the clatter of high-heeled shoes going up and down the stairs at night. We moved to a cheap student’s apartment in the Via degli Orti Oricellari with Biglietti Gratuiti, free tickets, to the art galleries and museums. I could drop into the Uffizi on my way home and leave my shopping bags in a locker near the postcards and souvenirs. The ten-year-old ‘angel’ would take himself off to the Bargello. He had a choice between Donatello’s David or a game of biliardino (table soccer) in the bar. There was no concern about him being alone.
There was so much to admire, to learn and enjoy in this world where, although I was outside the language, I was enveloped in the atmosphere and the culture. The language was like background music, mixed with car horns and church bells.
Perhaps I enjoyed being an outsider. I was too tall and the wrong shape to be an Italian and as EM Forster wrote, ‘… the barrier of language is sometimes a blessed barrier, which only lets pass what is good.’ And so, I didn’t try to ‘learn’ Italian. I suppose I thought it would become part of me as I felt such an affinity with the life around me. Now, I realise that I was living out the cliché of ‘the fatal charm of Italy’, but I was in good company with those from the past. Henry James, who I believe never conquered the Italian language, had exclaimed in Rome ‘At last, for the first time, I live!’ He had been ‘reeling and moaning thro’ the streets of Rome in a fever of enjoyment.’ Irrespective of his great novels set in Italy, he claimed that he remained an outsider.
I read Forster’s A Room with a View for the first time when I was in Florence, following the vacations of Lucy Honeychurch. I was wearing long denim hippy skirts at the time and tripped over the same sepulchral slab that the child had tripped over in Santa Croce in Chapter Two of ‘In Santa Croce with no Baedeker’. Lucy was coming from a very different time and perspective but, while I could never be mistaken for an Italian, I could enjoy moments when I had some sort of place in the English/Italian literary tradition.
I had my hair cut in the Via Tournabuoni (the dollar was high) near the English book shop where I had bought the novel. This was before the film Room with a View and the overkill of Tuscan novels. There were still carts selling tripe in the centre of Florence, and slices of very cheap pizza, spread only with a tomato sauce and wrapped in paper, were available outside the bakery at lunch time. Once I had a turn-of-the-century flashback when I saw a woman with an Eton crop wearing a monocle as she strolled arm in arm through the Piazza with her companion.
I also had Mary McCarthy’s The Stones of Florence to keep me company – and she was such good company. A vivid and exciting mix of Florentine history, art and culture, with no index, no sense of laborious research and probably no ‘fact checking’. It made me want to know more and more and to escape from the mind set of tourism. The Stones of Florence is written with elegant stylishness always tempered with her sharp edgy wit and a constant undercurrent of humour. The connections she makes are extraordinary with outrageous, sometimes intimate, facts about the lives of artists such as the bowel habits of Pontormo (recorded in his diary) and how Il Rosso lived with a baboon on Borgo dei Tintori. It was first published in 1956 and it seemed strange that I could relate so strongly to it in the 70s. But the art in Florence had not changed. McCarthy was a challenging companion and gave me an insight into my fascination and amazement for the Early Mannerists.
I would move from the warmth of the supremely beautiful Madonnas and bambini and Botticelli’s Birth of Venus to il Rosso’s Madonna, Saints and Two Angels in which ‘a simpering, rouge idiot child sits on the Madonna’s lap. The eyeholes of the child, the Madonna and the red-winged Angels are circled by blackness, like melting mascara’.
These ‘sacred’ paintings of Il Rosso with their garish colour and ‘half-carnival atmosphere of an insane asylum, or a brothel during a police raid’ were a far cry from what McCarthy refers to as ‘a tooled leather idea of Florence as a dear bit of the old world’. It provided a glimpse into another layer of Italian culture which I had not seen, and probably would never see until I found my own connections through Pasolini and Fellini.
After a visit to the Uffizi, I would collect my shopping bags from the locker and go home to continue what I thought of as a conversation with McCarthy. As I was still at the stage of buon giorno/buona sera, bello, bambino, grazie, prego, and un mezzo kilo di patate, she fulfilled a need. And she was so sofisticata.
Of course, I was reading in English! I was unable to see the learning of the language as a way into what I was longing to part of. After all, I was a Mamma and that got me a lot of credit. Hadn’t I been to a splendid and enormous Communist rally in the Piazza Della Signoria where the red flags were flying, and even without understanding most of the words I found the speeches passionate and moving? Hadn’t I even cried as I cheered and applauded with the Italians?
It was all such a wonderful mixture of history – the remote past, the recent past and the present. Our simple student apartment was in the Via degli Orti Oricellari, opposite the gardens of the Palazzo Rucellai where the Florentine Neo Platonists used to stroll and hold intellectual discussions. I could not pronounce Oricellari, and the Neo Platonists were a mystery to me although accepted by the locals, who kept pointing out the gardens to me and I learnt ‘giardino’. I now know that these gardens surrounded the 15th century Palazzo Rucellai, designed by Alberti who was proclaiming the new ideas of Renaissance architecture as a statement of humanist clarity.
It was only a ten-minute walk from the Via degli Orti Oricellari to the Santa Maria Novella railway station which in the 1930s was considered a symbol of Fascist modernism and a masterpiece of Italian rationalism. It was there, on platform 16, in 1938, that Mussolini greeted Hitler when he stepped off the train from Rome. I have read that the Florentines were not impressed by this ‘uninvited tourist’ – the dictator with artistic pretensions who was being shown Italy’s unique artistic heritage.
It was at Santa Maria Novella Stazione, in the underground exits, that I saw a seedier side of Florence and one of the less endearing clichés of Italian tourism. As young female tourists arrived by train, young men, usually very handsome young men, hung around waiting, offering help with their luggage and … I saw the same men, or replicas, week after week, with the same smiles and gestures charming a turnover of exited young women. No need for words. The performances said it all.
But at the station I learnt: gabinetto, sala d’attesa, gettone (for the public telephone), zingari (there were many), sciopero, and of course CHIUSO! as the window to the ticket office was slammed shut. I had already learnt tè, zucchero, pompieri (but that’s another story), diarrhoea, uova alla coque, pacchetto di sigarette, accendino – not to be confused with ascensore.
Occasionally, when I stumbled through my shopping list in the fruit shop, I would get a round of applause from the Italian customers who had become an attentive audience. I avoided buying figs (ficchi) because I was frightened that I would say cunts (fiche) and in the butcher shop I developed an extravagant mime of a mincing machine because I could never remember carne macinata. And carne and cane were a problem – I might ask for minced dog. Most memorable was the time when I asked for an abitante, (an inhabitant) instead of a liver (fegato). It was a very small, inadequate dictionary that I kept in my pocket.
These first memories from the 1970s are so clear, so indelible but I suspect I am creating a narrative and not always telling the exact truth. I think of my Italian experiences as a serial with episodes taking place over many years. The episodes are scattered and out of order as are my attempts at unravelling my relationship with the Italian language. I must have understood more. Not in print but in real life. It seeped in and dribbled out when I wasn’t in the moment. My understanding seemed to be always connected to an emotion: embarrassment, compassion, amusement or feeling excited, sad, angry, happy.
I certainly understood the story told to me by the man in a dark suit on a Sunday afternoon by the fountain in the Boboli Gardens. I watched him making little boats from twigs for the children to float on the water. He told me, in Italian, that his wife and children had been killed in a motor accident and every Sunday he came to the gardens to watch the children with their families. He always wore his best suit. One could sense his tenderness and sadness, the children were delighted with his boats and there was a sense of shared pleasure. How could I have understood? There were no extravagant Italian gestures from this quiet man. The only word I took from this experience was barca.
It is the essentially Italian images and the feelings that have remained with me – the hot sun, the white pebbles on the ground that caught in the wheels of the pusher and in my sandals, the beautiful Renaissance fountain, the Italian chatter of the children and the man in his black suit. But not the words.
I think my contentment and happiness got in the way. Why muddy the waters ‘working’ at learning language when I was learning so much every day?